Your marriage has become your new identity for the rest of your life. Serve your marriage ahead of yourself, and you will reap the fruit of obedience to God.
The way God had created you and your spouse as discrete spirits, is the exact same way God had created the discrete spirit that is your marriage, to shadow you and your spouse in holiness for the rest of your lives. Although you spirit answers for you and your spouse's spirit answers for your spouse, you each answer fully to God about your marriage! Your walking away from your marriage never absolves you from that responsibility, because your salvation, that of your spouse and the salvation of your children and your entire household, hinge on your marriage.
Never be absent in your marriage. Your commitment to your marriage the moment you say I do, is eternal. Only death can relive you from that commitment.
The health of your marriage has become of greater importance than the health of the individual that you are and the individual that your spouse is! Not only is God in your marriage and monitoring everything that is going on in your marriage, the entire host of heaven (the angels) are watching also: The Bible says that through your marriage (the church), God has decided to revealed the mystery about Himself that He had hidden in Himself for ages, which He had now decided to reveal to all creation, including His angels.
Therefore, stop deceiving yourself by listening to what the world says is your marriage. God does not care about what the world teaches on anything. He seeks accountability from all human beings everywhere, in accordance with what He had created everything to be!
The problem in our marriages, as well as with everything else in our lives, is not with authority, who is equipped by God with a whip in his hand in the event of disobedience from those that are under authority (Romans 13:3-5).
The problem in our marriages as well as with everything else we do in life, is in submission to authority, to whom all must submit for a harmonious marriage, family, society, workplace, school, church, military, etc. Submission to authority always leads to unity, and peace!
Only love discourages authority from using the whip in its hand. But when authority is deceitfully usurped in the name of love, the whip goes every which way, leading to wars and all other fights within the circuits of life that are the various human relationships (marriage, family, society, church, government, etc.), that were disrupted by such sabotage!
Distinct roles and clear responsibilities are everything in our relationships, and so, must always be carefully preserved!